A few rather huge changes have been made in the year. I now have white hair.. Something I have wanted to do for a long long time. So, not only have I made a mental change it is now physical.
One thing I wanted to stress, is that in the past months I really haven't been myself. I have been up and down so many times that I can't count. And I wanted to tell those who are feeling the same, you will be okay. It's tough, but you CAN get through it. If you're at rock bottom; the only way is up. Life knocks you down, and you get back up. Life is a marathon, you fail but you get up and you keep going.
I think now, I am the happiest I have been in a long time. And that is because I have surrounded myself with people who love me for me, and I have cut out the people who made me feel worthless. Those people maybe didn't do it on purpose, or even know they were doing it. But I/you don't need that shit in your life. I think part of my happiness has come from the fact that I have got over the shit summer I had. And it's taken me this long to think, you know what, Fuck it. If people want to hurt you, let them. It has only made me stronger. And now I am the happiest I have ever been, and thats due to my friends and family.
Maybe it's a rash decision of mine. But I really don't care. If I'm happy that's all that matters. I have also learned, that it's okay to be sad. If I'm not feeling okay, then thats okay too, we are only human we are bound to have days where all we want to do is wallow and cry. And that's okay. We need to do that to make ourselves feel better.
To provide you with a happy day, here is a list of 12 things you can do:
1. Eat ice-cream. This 'hobby' is very underrated it actually makes you feel so much better.
2. Do or try something new. The excitement will make all your troubles go away
3. Go and see someone you haven't seen in a long time. (this one is obvious)
4. Put a film on that you know will cheer you up, for me its Mary Poppins. I may be 20.. but I still need her to cheer me up.
5. Allow yourself to do one thing that is for you. and ONLY for you. If that means going to the shop and buying a coat, do it.
6. Remind yourself that it is okay to feel this way - and it will be fine.
7. Allow yourself time in this day to feel sad - if you don't feel 'right', there is no pressure to feel it. Its okay. Cry it all out baby.
8. Eat fajitas. They are wraps of pure joy.
9. Read/Watch TV.. Things to take your mind of the bad things.
10. If you have a loved one in your life be it a friend/Boyfriend/Girlfriend, see them. Cuddle with them, and just have them there. Trust me this is nice.
11. Make that person in 10 cook you your fave treats.. me and my special someone be it my girls or someone else, they just cuddle me, watch films with me and buy me chocolate. its great :)
12. That person will make you smile, whether you like it or not. And you will smile again - even though you don't think you will.
Hope you all have the best New Year
See you all soon
